IDENTITY CRISIS! – Chapter 3 – The World is Deaf / Only You Can’t See

No More Fantasies.org – A Blog of Uncomfortable Truths
Truth #15: Internet False Gods Rot Humanity
The Internet is full of shit. It’s an undeniable truth. Beyond your garden-variety every day idiots full of ‘lol’ and photographic vanity, beyond them you have the political and religious extremists who yell into the void and pretend that the scattered echoes they hear are evidence enough that the way they live their lives and treat other people is the true path. And beyond them, the criminals – the drug dealers, killers, rapists and paedophiles who hide out on the furthest rings of cyberspace and the deepest tiers of Hell; small and insular, but killing us all from the inside by merely existing, like a cancer.
I can’t claim to fix all these problems, and every day that goes by I feel increasingly aware that we won’t ever be able to solve these problems, and the Internet is truly fucked. And because of the age we live in, where the divide between the digital and the corporeal grows ever thinner, the ruined, post-apocalyptic wasteland of search engines and e-mail clients is a future prediction of the world we actually live in. To so many people, what they do on the internet matters more than real life – the notion that people think the Internet matters at all makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
It’s just a compressed collection of ideas, people! It’s not different from the libraries with all those books you’re too fucking stupid to read; except on the Internet, you’re accepted and sometimes even rewarded for your ignorance! You’re like peasants in the dark ages, rolling around in the mud of your ignorance. And the second one of you manages to brush some of the filth from your ragged clothes and stands upright, either through clarity of what the world is really like, or because they know just how easy it is to exploit others, you all crowd and smother them with your meaningless praise, your empty threats of short-term adoration and unsatisfying fellatio.
Best case study I can give you? This EmptyWest character. More like EmptyWaste. In that last 3 years this intentionally gender-ambiguous entity has become one of the most popular internet broadcasters worldwide. In this time of wanton and unfocused media consumption, anyone who has played a video game before has probably heard of EmptyWest. It’s a faceless, personality-devoid blob with a voice and an Internet connection, and people treat it like Mickey Mouse to the Messiah and anywhere in between.
It’s just a person, guys. Don’t you get that? Have you ever heard EmptyWest say anything meaningful? Offer any moving opinion? Part of what makes us human is how we take our experiences from the outside world and use it to grow – then we share these experiences with other people so that they may grow – or at the very least don’t make all the shitty mistakes we did. By refusing to offer anything about real-life experiences, EmptyWest is not a person. It is less than human. Some of you obsessive types (or the rare few of you who are capable of doing some fucking research) might know that there used to be an EmptyWest blog, where there was some kind of worldly insight, even if it was entirely basic and mundane, but now that’s disappeared, and with it; any kind of respect a rationally-thinking man could have for a person.
Be aware that behind the veneer of that shitty voice filter and video game aptitude is some scared and pitiable person who for some reason hates the real world enough to bury their head in the sand and prefer to be some kind of abstract entity on the internet. And I know why that is. Not just the ‘why’ in this specific case, but the ‘why’ in general. Why stupid losers like EmptyWest, and all the Internet celebrities before whom desperately seek validation from an audience with no faces.
It’s because they’re scared of their true selves. We are our own harshest critics, and we find flaws in ourselves near constantly. We pass by a mirror and hate our skin, our hair, our stomachs. We go outside and see everyone dressed in better clothes, or looking happier than we are. We talk to our friends who care so happy and comfortable with their lives while we seem to be in this kind of rotting stew of self-loathing; one that we refuse to share. We see the ugliness in ourselves and don’t know how to deal with it.
Some people never do, and carry it with them to the grave. Some people actually grow a goddamn spine and deal with their ugliness face to face, either overcoming it or beating it into submission. And SOME people, ladies and gentlemen, hide from it. They run away from themselves with speed and ferocity, until they run out of breath and choke, or find somewhere where everyone is ugly in the act same way as them, and pretend that everything is normal.
And if you’ve been paying attention, you worthless maggots, you’ll find that you’re a subscriber of the latter – you signed on the dotted line the second you opened up your browser. Internet communities are the tightest and most insular of hugboxes; you’re never at fault, and every single one of your dumb fucking idiosyncrasies is forgiven or praised like you’re not a reprehensible piece of shit. It’s okay if you like sitting in the dark and hate to socialise! There are websites out there full of people just like you who won’t judge you! All those people who teased you in high school are wrong – you’re a superhero! Just log on to www.you-worthless-shit.com and find other basement-dwelling grognards just like you!
The lengths you people go to just to hide from yourselves that you have some real, deep-seated shit going on in your lives is just overwhelming and incredibly fucking pitiful. When you go to the lengths of hiding your flaws under a myriad of others, don’t you feel that you’re achieving absolutely nothing? That you’re not bettering yourself? It’s a sickness that only the outsider can see, while we remain blind to the crippling personality flaws that kill us. From me, to the hollow shell of a person behind EmptyWest, to those beautiful people with perfect lives living in decadence while the rest of us struggle. We’re all dying.
But I think the sickness can be healed, these people with broken double lives can be fixed, into a new, better identity. All it takes is a spark of self-awareness and the right kind of people to steer you in the right direction. Self therapy doesn’t do shit. Trying to cure yourself within yourself is just going to make you despise your very being and go back to the same old shitty patterns that you’ve always found yourself in. Up at ungodly hours; listless and apathetic; drinking as a means to pass the time – trying to find the solution to your own boredom at the bottom of a bottle.
Wanton re-integration won’t work for you either. If you’re that fucking broken then trying to immerse yourself within groups of people who you can’t quite match is only going to have you introvert even more; unless someone with the backbone and the methods is around to handhold you through the oh so hard process of making some normal fucking friends; done with the smallest of baby steps. Yeah, comparing you to a baby would be an apt analogy. You need to grow up to find your true self, and you need a strict parent so you don’t go trying to stick your fingers in the electrical socket of social interactions.
EmptyWest, I know you’re reading this. How could you not? Know that I am a beneficial being with a harsh command; here to lay down the truth and force you to swallow it, like a bitter pill. Truths for you and anyone else who would rather build some kind of fucking comfort cocoon rather than face what the real world is like. I will be the first step to your revival; I will make you see that this other life you lead is worthless and shitty, and you’ll praise me for it once you find out the truth.
You’ve fucked up, EmptyWest. More than the rest of us.